


Light and Dark

by AmazingGraceless



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, fanfictionet import, first reylo fanfic ever, more a collection of shorts, reylo forever, this aged like wine, written before any of the movies came out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:26:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28070124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmazingGraceless/pseuds/AmazingGraceless
Summary: “ He hated her. He hated her for her light, something so pure, so sweet, something he had become immune to over the years. He hated her for the one thing he could not have."
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Kudos: 5





	1. Immune to the Light

_"I'm immune to the light."_

He hated her. He hated her for her light, something so pure, so sweet, something he had become immune to over the years. He hated her for the one thing he could not have. All else that he wanted could be achieved in time. After all, with his abilities, he was said to be Darth Vader reborn, Anakin Skywalker performing miracles in the galaxy once more.

Still, he hated her for the light that she had within her. He was jealous, jealous that some girl off a desert planet could have light, could have more than just a spark within her and that she could act with it. Darkness was to be used, he was told. He was to act upon it, for it was not inherently bad. It was just his nature, right?

_Right?_ Things like that made him wonder if he really was the good guy, and so did she. Of course, justifications came back, and he assured himself that he was doing the right thing, and the Resistance just didn't understand what steps needed to be taken.

He hated himself, however, for loving her. He hated to admit it, but he loved her for her light. It drew him to her, like it did an Alderaanian moth to the holo screens of Coruscant. Her actions intrigued him, mostly because he could not possibly understand why she acted the way she did, for someone who was supposed to be bad.

He could not understand her path. And for that, he loved her and he hated her. He could see her iridescent face in dreams and waking, and could not drive her mere image out of his mind.

He desired her, to be able to study her, to _have_ her. To kiss her, as strange and foreign as the thought was. Under the mask, cold lips curled into a smile. He would catch the one light he wanted, and he would keep it, making sure it never died. He wanted something beautiful of his own, something full of good, as much as he hated the implications of that mental confession.

Yes, she would be his.

* * *

_"Don't be afraid."_

She shivered at the thought. His darkness was a mystery to her, something alluring and seductive, something that a part of her wanted in on. It was just the fact of the mask, the idea that maybe he had real reasons for doing what he did to the Resistance. If she could just get to know the monster. . .

She stopped herself. If the Resistance knew her thoughts, she'd be in big trouble. Big trouble indeed. After all, who could _love_ a Knight of Ren? Who would _want_ to know the monster behind the mask?

She always had been a strange girl, with strange, philosophical thoughts. Why she was drawn to this man in particular both frightened and excited her. Why him, of all the trillions in the galaxy? Why him, when she had two friends that she could chase quite easily? Why did it have to be a Knight of Ren that made her feel this way?

Maybe it was just that love was as unpredictable as the will of the Force, she suggested to herself. Maybe it was just that like some men were drawn to light, she was one of the few who truly was drawn to darkness.

It was the spark that she saw in him, she'd realized. She could see a spark of light, a small piece of good locked in his heart under doctrines and a lifetime of evils. He had a chance at redemption, and she wanted to be his redemption, as insane as that sounded.

The mysteries pounded like wrecking balls inside her brain, and suddenly she felt like she wanted to scream. All these questions, all these feelings, all these thoughts that she _never should have had_. All about _him._

Even though it might set her apart from the Resistance, she would reach out to him and hope that she could lead him to the right path. After all, she could sense his inclination towards her. Against the odds, she'd make it work.

Yeah, right.

* * *

Somewhere, two hearts were beating as one against the odds. In the galaxy, although they were far apart, two souls were finding each other. One soul was a symbol of light, a heart that stood for all that was right, pure and sweet. The other soul was a representation of dark, preying on the weak and fighting to be strong and selfish, alluring and seductive.

Yes, two hearts were beating as one, of light and dark.


	2. Don’t Fight It

_"Don't fight it, you know you can't."_

She was _here_ , right in front of him. He couldn't believe it. He thought Hux was lying when he'd said that they'd captured the scavenger. He had to see it for himself, and what the General said was true. She was _here_.

He wanted to _touch_ her, without the gloves he always wore. He wanted to _see_ her, without the mask to filter away any of her radiance. More importantly, he wanted her to see _him_.

A nervousness ran through him as he pulled off the gloves, shedding a part of his Darth Vader persona already for _her_. He'd ordered all the other guards to leave the throne room, and just to wait outside, so his image wasn't at that much of a risk. He'd sensed the smirks under their helmets that infuriated him. It wasn't like _that_. Kylo was just a private person.

She looked scared, and he wanted nothing more than to put her at ease, so her light could shine all on its own. He hesitated only for a moment in taking off the helmet he'd been so careful to never take off around the Knights of Ren or the First Order. Humanity wasn't really a part of the legend of Darth Vader. Even when he wasn't in a life-support suit, he was a little more than human, if the stories were true.

She hadn't expected a handsome, young face, to be honest. With that ever-present mask-no, helmet, she'd realized, she'd expected someone with deformities or a mostly-mechanical face, a face that couldn't gain followers. She would have still loved him anyway, but now. . .

He wanted to _touch_ her, make sure she was real. What did a human light feel like? He knew of human shadow, for that was him. His cold fingers reached out for her face, just to trace the sides of her heart-shaped face, to cup it in his hands, to make it his.

She almost _wanted_ him to touch her. It was wrong, she kept reminding herself, but she did. It was all wrong, what she felt. It was wrong, but it was what she felt, and unlike the Jedi of old, she did not deny or suppress her emotions. She celebrated her attachments, her compassion, her ability to love, and love deeply.

Her face was soft and smooth and _warm_. Physical representation of her own warm feelings inside. He liked it. When he looked upon her without the mask, she seemed so different. So bright that you just couldn't look away, no matter how hard you tried, yet she seemed to burn his eyes out.

His cool touch seemed to soothe her burning nerves and tense muscles. Yet the fear was still there. The fear that he was taking advantage of her feelings, advantage of her for some interrogation or something. Wasn't that what Sith were supposed to do?

He could sense her fear, although it wasn't visible anymore. What could he do to prove that he had no intention of hurting this one beautiful thing in his life? This one beautiful thing he would keep as darkness would continue to collapse around him?

"Don't be afraid." The words were heartfelt, and genuine, although there was something chilling about his voice that sent a shiver down Rey's spine. Something about it told her to be _very_ afraid, yet her body relaxed anyways.

Stupid, wasn't it, how the irrational love she felt for him could override all of her self-control, all of her common sense? She hated her feelings for that, yet she couldn't entirely hate them, because love was what made her _Rey_. Her ability to love even a knight of Sith teachings. Her ability with compassion.

"Please, I don't want you to be afraid of me." The words were low, so that those outside would not hear and think that their stoic leader was going soft, because once they thought you went soft, it was nothing but work, work, work, all the time, and he did enough of that anyways.

"You won't hurt me?" The words, vulnerable and sweet, slipped from Rey's lips before she could control it. What a stupid thing to ask a man like Kylo Ren, a man who headed the Starkiller Base, who would do anything for Anakin Skywalker's original lightsaber.

A small smile spread across his lips. "Of course I won't."

Eyes met, and she wondered if her feelings were actually returned. Why else would he say that to her? After all, technically, she was his enemy. A member of the Resistance. An obstacle to that lightsaber.

He knew just looking at her face, from hearing her voice that he wanted her. He had never exactly been educated in the way of romancing a lady, but it was something that seemed to come naturally, instinct taking over from evolution. His right hand slipped down to her waistline as she pressed against the wall. His left still gripped her chin gently, and he hesitated.

Her heart beat faster. The shiver down her spine wasn't from fear this time, it was from the sensation of his hand on her waist, and she found herself wanting him, wanting him, just as much as he wanted her.

He kissed her, and she was kissing back. For him, it was his first kiss. For her, she counted as her true first kiss. After all, that stupid colony bully's meant nothing to her, and had disgusted her at the time, for he had forced himself upon her. This was different, maybe because the feelings were mutual.

When they broke away, the smile had grown, and there was one tugging at the corner of Rey's lips.

"I'd never destroy a light like you."

He would never let her go, and she didn't want to go. He wanted her at his side when he took over the galaxy, and she wanted him, even though it went against everything she believed in.


	3. I Feel It Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I should explain back in the earliest days of Reylo that we thought Rey was the Skywalker, not Kylo. Hope that explains this.

_I feel it too."_

She was amazed at the idea. He had surrendered, willingly, to the riders of the _Millennium Falcon_. Han had locked him in the closet at first sign, and Poe and Finn looked at her as if she were crazy.

"He's a Knight of Ren, our enemy, Rey!" Poe had cried when she'd let him onboard. "You can't trust him. He only wants one thing, and that's the lightsaber. As soon as he has it, he'll leave and stab us all in the backs, and you'll be the first one dead!"

BB-8 was the only one who'd chirped that he'd support her, no matter her choices, no matter how stupid they might be. She ignored the last part, because hey, you took what you could get.

"I'm going to talk to him. Poe, take my spot," Rey finally announced.

Han looked at her. "Are you sure that's a good idea? We don't want him getting loose."

"I'll be careful," she said, not breaking the stare.

"Take my blaster," Han said after deciding to let her go through with it. "Make sure to put one through his head if he tries to escape."

She nodded, staring at the fully-loaded DL-44 in her hands. Her staff she would leave in the smuggling bins right outside of the closet. It wouldn't be much use in an enclosed space.

Her heart raced at the idea of just talking to him. Poe in particular would probably shoot her if he knew of her private emotions towards this particular Knight of Ren. Kriff, he already wanted to shoot her for letting him on the _Millennium Falcon_. The idea of being in a dark enclosed area. . . _Stop that, Rey!_

She realized that she was sweating as she pulled open the door, and was quick to slide in an shut it. His eyes seemed so bright in the dimness, only broken by the small electric lights of the inside gears and computers and such. It surprised her how calm he seemed for a man who was notorious for a temper and emotions.

"Hello, Rey." His voice was cold and gave a caress to her name that only he could.

"Ren," she acknowledged with a nod that could barely be seen in the darkness.

"Kylo," he corrected.

"What?" She was thrown off-balance by the simple statement.

"Call me Kylo," he explained, looking a little flushed from what she could see. "Ren's a title, all of the Knights of Ren have it. Kinda like the title, Darth."

"Alright, Kylo, then," she said, regaining her balance. She paused, forgetting what it was she had to say. "How are you?"

He frowned, not knowing how to reply. No one ever exactly asked him how he was. It was mostly 'do this' and 'guard that' and 'crush the Jedi', never anything really about him besides the bi-a monthly traitor and mole sweep that Captain Phasma led, and the chrome trooper usually cleared him with very little questioning.

"It's a little tight in here," he finally replied.

She blushed, and he wondered why. He couldn't even sense her exact emotions. All he ever saw from her was that she had strong emotions, although what they were were shielded from him and her resonating light.

"We can't exactly trust you," she said. "You know, being a Dark-sider and ally of the First Order. And a Knight of Ren."

"You think I don't know that?" He demanded, frustrated, and he ran his fingers though his dark curls. "You think that I don't know that everyone treats me like I'm some monster, that has to be caged to keep from going on a rampage and mauling everyone? You think that I don't know how people look at me! You think that I don't hear the what they think of me? That I don't sense what they think of me? Monster, enemy, demon, Sith, Imperial!"

Instead of backing against the wall like any other would've, instead of placing her hand on the cold trigger of the DL-44, she found herself leaning forwards, listening to angry words in the relative darkness of the _Millennium Falcon's_ storage closet.

"Why did you surrender, then?" Her voice was filled with a longing, to understand, to have something to sympathize with, something to shed her light upon.

His breathing became less ragged as he became calm at her voice. "I wonder that often enough, but the only reason I'm still sane is that I know. I hate myself for it. It makes me weak, when I've worked my whole life to be strong."

His eyes were intent on her, and it made her insides feel funny, tingly almost. She couldn't break that intense gaze for all the treasure on Jakku. Her free hand, the one not holding Han's blaster, found itself resting on his cheek.

Without breaking their stare, his hand reached up and caught her wrist. She looked down, ashamed and embarrassed at her hand's minor betrayal, sure that he was going to push her away, and demand that she leave.

To her surprise, he just held it there.

"Why, then?" She asked. "What makes you so weak?"

A weak Kylo, she could sympathize with, she could feel like herself around. Mind you, she liked him in his strong personality as well, but it seemed like too much to her, too superhuman. She wanted to see him as Just Kylo, not the intimidating Kylo Ren.

He looked down, and she could see the color on his cheeks deepen, she could feel his face growing warm underneath her hand. He was battling inside, with to tell or not to tell. That is the question indeed.

He wanted her to think of him as someone strong, and someone who had no weakness. After all, how could someone love the weak? It was unfathomable to him. He wanted to be honest with her, though. He felt like he couldn't bear lying to her. He loved her, simple as that, and he wanted to be loved in return, as weak and as vulnerable as it made him.

"I-" he stopped himself, and took a deep breath. "I love you, Rey."

He looked down again, ready to hear the angry words, of how dare he love her, how she could never fall in love with a beast, and worst of all he feared her laughter. Laughing in his face, telling him that he _was_ weak.

She was silent, though, and she did not move her hand, like he expected. _Clink._ The DL-44 was on the ground, and her other hand went to frame his face completely. All he could hear was the two of them breathing, and the occasional beep from the lit equipment.

"Kylo." Her voice was kind, but firm, the kind of voice you obeyed. "Look at me."

He did, seeing her serious face. One that wasn't derisive towards him, that wasn't scorning him.

"I'd never think you to be weak for love," she said in a low voice. "Love can make you weak, that is true, but at the same time, it makes you strong, just like love can make you selfish and selfless at once. And I know how you feel."

"You do?"

She allowed herself a small, encouraging smile. "Of course I do. You see, I-" Her heart hammered against her ribs, and she felt warm. Why was it so hard to get the words out?

"I love you, too." The confession flew from her lips, and it shocked both of them into silence. He let go of her wrist, and his arms went around her, and she pressed her body close to his, and their lips met.

The kiss tasted tantalizing, sweet, addictive to both of them. Her fingers crawled from his face to his hair, and his own hands moved up and down the rough sand-colored dress covering her back.

"Rey, is everything-" Finn stepped back, eyes wide, and he turned to Poe, who had paled significantly.

"Han isn't going to like this."


	4. Don’t Be So Sentimental

_Don't be so sentimental."_

They'd locked Kylo back in the closet, and dragged Rey out to a chair in the cockpit, where Han was staring at her, obviously disappointed.

"You did _what_ with _who_ _where_?" He demanded.

Rey stared down at her hands folded innocently in her lap. "I kissed Kylo Ren in the closet. It's quite simple, really."

Han felt the urge to slam his head into the control panel of the _Millennium Falcon_. He liked Rey and all, and her naïveté reminded him of Luke back in his farmboy days, but her naïveté was going to get them all stabbed in the back soon. With a tri-saber.

"He's just toying with you, trying to get him to trust you," he tried to explain as calmly as possible. "You think he actually cares about you, and he's gonna use you to escape. Simple as that, kid."

"He seemed genuine," she muttered.

"They're actors," Poe jumped in. "He seemed pretty genuine when he was torturing me, in case you've forgotten!"

"I haven't!" Rey snapped. "I just believe everyone deserves a second chance."

"He doesn't!" Finn and Poe chorused.

Rey glared at both of them.

"You look a lot like your mother," Han mused, then sobered as he reached for his DL-44, and then remembered that he'd given it to Rey. "Where's my blaster?"

Rey went pale. "I. . . Dropped it. In the closet."

"Kriff! That's great news," Han growled.

 _We're doomed_ , BB-8 chirped.

"Thanks for your vote of confidence," Rey said as she got up.

"Where are you going?" Finn asked as he clutched the armrest in terror.

"To go retrieve the blaster," Rey said. "I'm the only one who isn't afraid-"

"Nuh-uh," Poe protested. "I'm going since the last time we sent you, you ended up making out with him-"

"And you peed your pants, Dameron, when he came aboard," Rey retorted. "Unless we'd like the whole ship to smell like urine, I'd suggest that I'd take care of it, especially since you and Finn have been hogging the bathroom the whole ride."

To be honest, her common sense had taken over and she was terrified at what she's had let happen. She didn't let it show as she removed her staff from the smuggling compartments, and she slowly opened the door, staff aloft as she prepared to hit something.

She opened the door slowly, and much to her surprise, the gun was still lying on the floor. Kylo just stared at her, and then the blaster, and then back at her her.

"Are you going to get it, or are you going to beat me up first?" He demanded.

Rey slowly reached for it, and held it tight in her hands, and pushed the staff back into the gaping hole that was the smuggling compartments. She found it very hard to resist that sad look as she shut the door again. She jogged up to Han in the cockpit, who looked relieved.

"Here you go," she said quietly, and she sat down.

* * *

"You did _what?_ With _who? Where?_ " Supreme Leader Snoke demanded.

Kylo Ren was extremely pleased that the mask was on so Snoke could not see him blushing.

"I. . . romanced Rey Solo in the throne room?" He said it like a question.

"Don't be so sentimental, my apprentice," Snoke hissed. "That girl will be the end of you, much like Luke Skywalker was the end of Darth Vader. She will destroy you like Alderaan was, and then where will you go?"

Kylo found himself grasping for words but not finding the right ones to say.

"That's what I thought," Snoke finished, and then he paused. "Padmé Amidala, however, was Vader's catalyst into the dark side. Perhaps this _Rey_ will do the same for you."

Kylo's throat was in his heart. "What have you done?"

"Oh nothing," the Supreme Leader laughed. "Love has made a fool of you. Yet still, if it is the girl you desire as a. . . a trophy, then I see no reason why not."

"You will not be disappointed, milord," Kylo said, and then he rose, exiting the chamber. Rey would be more than a trophy, he vowed privately. She would be his light, his one beautiful light in a sea of darkness.


End file.
